Controlling Stress, A few things I have learned and My 2015 bucket list.

"Perseverance means to continue in a given course until we have reached a goal or objective, regardless of obstacles, opposition, and other counterinfluences...Perseverance is a positive, active characteristic...It gives us hope by helping us realize that the righteous suffer no failure except in giving up and no longer trying.”
― Joseph B. Wirthlin
 

 

There is a song that I listen to a lot, I believe by the Weepies. It talks about how the world spins madly on. That songs plays in my head throughout the day when I feel like I am daydreaming through life or when I am just going through the motions. If I am not one hundred percent distracted, I sometimes feel like I am still numb. I wondered when this numbness feeling would go away, and A LOT of it has, my life does have joy and peace but everyday has that realization that life is a test. I feel as if the world is spinning madly on and I am just letting it pass by at times. I made it my goal this year to be more adventurous, have more fun, and create the best memories I can with Hannah.  I know that a stress free year is not possible but I am learning how to take that stress and turn it into something positive. If something were to just rock my world again...how would I react? I hate that I have to keep preparing myself for the worst. I would like to just plan for the best but in the back of my mind is anxiety. A way that I turn a bad night or a stressful situation into something not necessarily positive but not as big of a deal as I normally would let it be, is too remind myself that this stressful situation is almost over and that I have done harder things. I pick the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, and then I compare the two, then I realize that hey this is piece of cake compared what I did that one time. All of a sudden when I do that with every stressful situation the less stress I am actually letting into my life.

Every day I thank Heavenly Father for Hannah because she is my little missionary. She was sent here and her calling was me. My life has joy and happiness in it because of her. Tonight like any other night I rocked Hannah to sleep and I sing her I know that my Redeemer Lives.  I wonder if I am really singing it for her or if I sing it because I really know that my Redeemer Lives.  I came to the conclusion that I sing it because I need it more than her.  It is a way that we unwind our day and I think about my family.  My rocking chair faces a picture of Colton hanging on my bedroom wall. I think about him and how big he is, giving birth to him, and what he and his Dad are up too. I think about what it would have been like to rock him to sleep.  The difference though between these thoughts now and these same exact thought a year ago are night and day. When I think about it now, I smile and I feel peace.

“There are times when you simply have to righteously hang on and outlast the devil until his depressive spirit leaves you. As the Lord told the Prophet Joseph Smith: “Thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”-Ezra Taft Benson

Some things that I have learned this past year are lessons that I will live the rest of my life by.  I have learned that endurance is key, prayer is essential, peace comes to those who seek for it on a daily basis, life is just a short amount of time compared to eternity and we as humans have the amazing ability as children of God to do amazing things. 

My 2015 bucket list:
1.  Read my scriptures more
2. Spoil Hannah
3. Ride a hot air balloon
4. Travel
5. Go zip lining
6. Visit Rachel and meet baby Stacey
7. Go to the temple more often
8. Learn to not let others bother me
9. Pay it forward (service)
10. Get into a better routine
11. Be outside more (fresh air is so good for you.)
12. Go whale watching
13. Go hiking more
14. Stop feeling sorry for myself
15. Learn to forgive

I love my Savior and I love my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything, I would trade some of things that has happened for sure! But I wouldn't want anyone else's trials.  I am grateful for every trial that I now see as a blessing because it takes a long time for that to happen. Praying that 2015 will be filled with lots of fun and great memories! :)